N****'S AIN'T SHIT

Okay this is in no way to hate on the male species, I just figured the headline would get some of you all's attention.

Okay I often hear this phrase a lot ("niggas ain't shit) and it really bothers me how many of us women think. I mean if you go around with this mentality then of course your setting every man you encounter to fit this so called "mold" so once a man messes up, he will always equal to your preconceived notion that "niggas ain't shit".

"Where you meet"

Okay lets first start off with this. Don't get me wrong there is nothing wrong with going out to clubs and bars and having a good time. But if you expect to meet your future husband while you are shaking your ass you really have life misconstrued. You will get what you give off (told to me by one smart soul..lol) 9 times out of 10 when your in a club a man is not looking for his next girlfriend but just a next lay. Which brings me to my next topic

What are you giving off

If you are dressed like a prostitute don't expect a man or anyone for that matter to take what you say or do seriously. Like they say if it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, it's probably a damn duck..lol..so please have some class...Men are visual creatures..He won't be paying any attention to what you are saying when he can't stop staring at your cleavage or your butt hanging out of your shorts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You can be sexy and classy, it is very possible. I know your probably thinking a man or anybody shouldn't judge you by what you have on and this is very true but unfortunately our society teaches us differently. So next time you have on a mini skirt in the club shaking your ass or grinding like you should be on a pole somewhere (I'm not bashing exotic dancers but they keep their work at work..for the most part) or on the corner don't get upset when a man thinks that all you want or are good for is sex.

Start with SELF

This should have been first but oh well....If you are not mentally and emotionally stable to be in a relationship, DON'T GET INTO ONE. Getting into a relationship when you aren't ready especially if you have trust issues is not a good idea. You are setting yourself up for failure. Don't expect a man to fix your broken heart. It doesn't work that way. TIME WILL HEAL ALL WOUNDS!! So with that don't think that somebody else to heal those wounds because if he fails then all you are doing is making the wound deeper.

Higher Power

Too each it's own but if you do believe in God or whomever you pray too..I think it would be best to build a better relationship with your higher power. I know my God is an awesome God and he always delivers me through my toughest times. And the closer me and him get the closer me and my husband get.

LOOKS

We get so caught up in looks that we tend to overlook a man's personality..Not saying that looks don't matter let's face it some people have to have some pleasing to the eye. But if this is what solely attracts you to someone, that won't carry the relationship far. Everyone knows looks will fade and we will all soon be old and wrinkled..lol..So focus on getting to know the person first. I find myself being attracted to a man's personality more than anything. In turn when a man has a great personality then he looks even better to me..Anybody who is ugly inside to me is ugly outside to me.

MONEY

We all want a man that can pick up the tab every now and again and can get you nice things..But we ARE young and let's not focus on how much the man has now..But better yet does he have goals what is he striving for. People get so caught up in now that when they realize that the man they are dealing with has no goals and aspirations its too late because you already have gave up the draws..lol..now your emotionally attached and pissed off and saying now that "niggas ain't shit" when he wasn't about shit from the get go your butt was just blinded by his dough and what he could do for you


SEX

Now I don't need to stay on this long but ladies learn some restraint just because you see men f'ing every mary and jane doesn't excuse you for doing it..The saying well nigga's do it..is an EXCUSE a poor one at that...You just as ratchet as the man that sticks his thang in any hole he can find

PRIDE

Now we all have it some a little more than others but just like you like being treated so does a man. A man doesn't want to feel like he is always giving and giving and giving..it's okay to pay for dinner one night or buy a nice gift but remember you are not his MOTHER..which brings me to my next topic

you are his GIRLFRIEND not his MOTHER

Now I see this a lot and it pisses me off. Don't get me wrong I pamper my husband but I AM NOT HIS MOTHER. When you do too much and you literally start taking care of a man..you are playing the role of MOTHER not GIRLFRIEND their is a big difference LEARN IT!!!..which brings me to my next topic

Watch how he treats his MOTHER or other WOMEN

A man's up bringing will effect him in major ways. And how he treats other woman and his mother ESPECIALLY!!!!!!!! So that means if he disrespects his mother the one who brought him into this world and wiped his butt, kept him fed, clothed, and a roof over his head. Why would he show you any kind of respect...just some food for thought




OVERALL

You have to start with SELF and then you can start to build a healthy relationship with another person. I know we all aren't perfect and we all make mistakes but it is not up to us to judge one another. And if you are attracting the wrong kind of men, look at what you are giving off. Take a self evaluation. Be careful to where you are looking for your mate...i know you can meet a "dog" in the grocery store or the library but if he is in the club dancing on every chick..getting drunk and disrespecting woman and you bring him home..don't think he will be any different..Don't be CAPTAIN SAVE A NIGGA..Yes relationships take effort and to have a healthy and great relationship you have to give but if he isn't ready to change yet let it go. Don't keep holding on to something that is bringing you down. Open up your eyes and think with your mind sometimes..Have your BS radar on FULL ALERT...Ask questions don't just take his word for it either. If you feel he is lying let it ride for a week or two and ask THE SAME question and see if you get the answer..STOP MAKING EXCUSES..all men aren't bad..just like Katt Williams said..all nigga's ain't shit..just the nigga's you fuck with ain't shit. Stop being so needy..this will turn a man off..It's good to know your wanted but damn bitch he doesn't have to give you a play by play on his day...maybe you shouldn't be with him if you can't trust him and HAVE to know if he is breathing every second...any who..ima get off my soap box..I just felt some of this needed to be said


Toodles

<3 18 <3